Daily Diary Entries

Day 122 – 124 – A Welcomed Blast from the Past

October 26th, 2013 by

On Friday night i received a phone call out of the blue from an ex colleague of mine from my days in Libya. A great guy but like me susceptible to the odd drink. I could tell straight away that he had a few which he later confirmed by showing me his glass of scotch and saying that I would appreciate it. I told him that I had not touched a drop in 4 months and that I had changed my lifestyle and was focused on running the London marathon next year. He seemed as though he was disappointed in a way, maybe because it was one less of his friends that were sharing that lifestyle with him. I can see how there can be solace in justifying ones behavior if there are other people around doing the same thing. I was growing impatient during the call although I didn’t let on, when you have to answer the same questions over and over again because the person is too drunk to remember gets tedious, I made an excuse and cut the call short after telling him I was in Kyrgyzstan for the third time.

After the call I had a range of emotions, firstly I felt sorry for my friend in a way, now don’t get me wrong I am not going to sit on my high horse and say look at me I am Mr. Perfect because I have made the decision not to drink at this moment in time. I felt sorry for him because he was back home with his family from working abroad and that time should be precious, I know if I was in his family’s position that I would want more quality time (I say this only because it was 11 am where he was, in the evening it would have been different I think) but then again who am I to judge? You don’t know what is really going on, it was just sad to see. I felt anger because I had wasted my time talking to my friend, he is not going to remember the conversation and do the things that he said he would do. I felt shame because I knew that WAS me, I was the one who would make drunken calls at times to my friends and now know what they must have gone through. I looked back at some of the times I got drunk and did/said embarrassing things and cringed. However I also felt pride. Pride in the fact that that was no longer me. I have visualized and created the person I have always wanted to be. The conversation motivated me, it has been only 4 months since my change but I know that this time the change is permanent and I am determined to work hard to keep it that way. I don’t ever want to be who I was ever again. I want to be me, the new and improved better me. I know that I am well on the way to achieving my goal. It is within touching distance. There is still a mountain to climb but I have made significant progress and I am happy where I am heading. I feel great. This situation confirmed that what I am doing and where I am going is the right direction.

The last 3 days have been fairly mundane and repetitive being stuck in the hotel – even the room service staff knew my order by the end of the week. I was disciplined and although my order remained unchanged for the week it meant that I stayed on track. In order to succeed you have to work hard and make sacrifices.

The Feeling of Success - Daily Diary - Ray of Light

8 Responses to “Day 122 – 124 – A Welcomed Blast from the Past”

  • Raurita says:

    this is one of the best posts as per my modest opinion. i mean i liked it very much. you are so honest and opened about your feelings ..you are not afraid to talk about your past, previous embarassments and always end up on a positive and inspiring way ! your strength and will power are astonishing. your blog is indeed an incredible source for anyone who wants to change their lifestyle… the road to get THE FEELING OF SUCCESS may not be always smooth but .. its not hard when person has determination and focus like you do. im so proud of you David Donnelly :* sincerely Rau

    • David says:

      Being honest and open has enabled me to truly dig deep and find the aspects of my life that have truly troubled me in the past. By confronting and accepting them I am able to challenge them head on and make the improvements needed in myself. The journey to ‘The Feeling of Success’ is not easy but nothing worth having is. For me to create the person that I want to be I am going to have to do something that I have never done before. Thank you for everything that you do, your support and love. I am extremely grateful :*

  • hithaishy says:

    Hello David, i just happened to come across your blog today. I just lost 19kgs in the last 10 months. All by myself. I just finished my first Half Marathon last month. I am 3 kgs short of my goal weight.
    The change has to happen within. From then on its a learning process. New experiences , new way at looking at food. Its a Lifestyle change.
    Best wishes for your journey.

    • David says:

      Thank you for your wishes and congratulations on finishing your first half marathon. I agree entirely with you, it is a lifestyle change but a permanent one. I know from experience that changing your lifestyle for a short period will result in weight loss but as soon as you slip back into your previous lifestyle the weight begins to creep back on.

  • Cheryl says:

    This is very hard; I love your response today. I haven’t read all your entries, just today and some odds and ends. I’m wondering if you creating this goal and attaining it solely on your power and strength alone. This is quite a feat! Congratulations on your progress and continued success!

    • David says:

      The power and strength to achieve this goal is inside everyone however it takes something special for that to be released. My system focuses on that as its starting point. What is it that opens up the power and strength? Well that is different for everyone but the key is finding out what it is, once you have done that the rest is easy :) Thank you Cheryl for taking the time to read my blog, if you have a spare moment I would recommend starting from the beginning of my journey and look at the thought process that has lead me to where I am today.

  • So good to see that you are getting to realize the other side of being who you were. Some will only find that out in another life. Congradulation for all your efforts, keep it going it is great to read about how well you are doing.

    • David says:

      Thanks for your kind comments Linda :) It is very motivating when you experience that realization and it pushes me to become an even better person.

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